5 Muslim Men You Absolutely Should Not Marry

5 Muslim Men You Absolutely Should Not Marry

Let me begin by saying, this article isn’t going to change anything.

I don’t think for a second that Muslim women will stop marrying the creeps in this list no matter how much I write about them.

But for posterity’s sake, it may be good to get these things out into the open so that no one can ever say “No one ever told me not to marry jerks like this.”

Now what I’m about to write isn’t just coming off the top of my head. These aren’t things I made up on the way to the wudu station.

Over the years, I’ve seen so many bad marriages and it usually starts off with me thinking “This is obviously not going to work.”

But like most people, we hope for the best and forget to prepare for the worst.

5-muslim-men-stay-away-from

So in case you’re about to get married and you’re worried you might be making the biggest single mistake of your life, here’s a list of Muslim dudes you absolutely should not marry.

The Incense-Oil Entrepreneur

This was too easy.

Look, there’s nothing wrong with selling incense or oils, so don’t get me wrong. I’m not knocking someone who makes an honest living selling these things.

But for too many brothers, this is their first (and only) choice to make some money. And it’s okay if they actually do make money.

Unfortunately, for most of these smelly salesmen, they’re barely making enough to keep the lights on. There’s only but so many five dollar bundles of incense you can sell in one day.

Now if a brother opens up a real store with real doors and real paperwork and he stocks it with hundreds upon hundreds of different oils and incense types and he uses social media and innovative marketing techniques and manages to build himself a real, true-blue oil business, then Mashallah.

That’s great! Alhamdulillah! Go get married!

But if your beau is wheeling around a small suitcase filled with half a dozen incense bundles and twenty different Chanel knockoffs, it may be time to look elsewhere.

The Muslim Player

If the guy you’re interested in marrying has been married six different times, and he’s not yet twenty-five years old, then you might want put the brakes on that one.

It’s amazing that these guys can convince a seventh sister marry him, but somehow they do.

I’ve even heard some guys who bragged about being married over ten times in their life.

Don’t they realize that isn’t a good statistic? There’s no reward in Jannah for having the most broken marriages.

Seriously, if the brother you’re interested in hasn’t been able to stay committed to any woman in the past (except his ex who always seems to call him) then what makes you think he’s going to be any different with you? What makes you so special?

He might just say he’s had some bad luck with women. But if we look a little closer, you’ll see that it has nothing to do with luck.

This guy has just found a way to test the waters (and the milk and the juice and the coffee…) without violating any Islamic commandments.

The Green Card Wannabe

It’s pretty obvious you should stay away from this guy.

What’s not so obvious is knowing who this guy is.

These are perhaps some of the creepiest Muslims I’ve ever seen. They’re willing to lie, cheat and hurt just to stay in America (or the UK, Canada, Australia or any other wealthy Western nation).

It’s so ridiculous that these same guys can live a lie and still go to the Masjid and pray and read Quran like everything’s cool.

How can you tell if your future husband is more interested in your citizenship status than your love?

Here are a few things you can do to get to the truth.

  • Immediately start talking about having babies. Of course it’s possible that neither of you really want kids and it has nothing to do with trying to stay in your home country. But if he absolutely refuses to even discuss the matter then that could be a warning sign.
  • Talk to him about living in his country rather than yours. If he gets all emotional about it and flat out refuses to even entertain the idea, that may be another sign.
  • Get him fully involved with your local Muslim community. The more he’s around other Muslims and the more people get to know who he is, the harder it will be for him to fake it. If he starts hesitating about going to the Masjid or finds all sorts of reasons why he can’t be around “those types of Muslims” that may be yet another sign.

The Welfare King

This is very simple. If he is on welfare, and he’s not disabled, then you need to walk away.

There’s no reason why a man who has his full faculties should be satisfied with having the government buy his corn flakes.

This guy is a taker and has become used to getting things the easy way. If you were to marry him, you will most likely find yourself living in squalor and hating yourself for falling for the okey doke.

One more thing.

If he’s on welfare, and he’s already married, and wants you to “join his family,” don’t just walk away.

Run away!

And cover your tracks with salt so he can’t follow you.

The Super Sheikh

You’ve seen this guy before.

Everything is haram.

Television?

Haram.

Coca Cola?

Haram.

Women’s clothing in colors other than black?

Haram! Haram! Haram!!!!

He’s going to compare you to glass vessels. He’s going to call you his queen. He’s going to say you’re better than all those other women.

And then he’s going to drape you in black, force you to leave your high-paying job, convince you that education (Haram!) is worthless, and turn you into a baby machine.

If you want to be a stay at home mom, there’s nothing wrong with that. My wife has been a stay at home mom for most of our marriage.

But it was a choice that she made. Not something I forced upon her using Islam as a sledgehammer.

Certainly, what I’ve listed here are very stereotypical characterizations of some Muslim men. Unfortunately, I have personally known men from each category.

And I’ve also known women who married them. And while this article is written kind of tongue in cheek, you shouldn’t overlook the possible outcome of your decisions.

Be careful about who you marry. Involve your wali. Try to control your emotions.

And trust in Allah.

17 Responses to 5 Muslim Men You Absolutely Should Not Marry

  1. This is a topic I often wish was discussed more openly in the community. Jazakallahu khair for bringing this up, brother, excellent article.

  2. Salams and Eid Mubarak. I am one of those “Incense/Oil” Entrepeneurs that you mentioned. I find that a lot of my wholesale customers tend to be brothers who don’t get that second chance coming out of prison and so they use their “hustle” skills they once had before prison time and they are trying to make an honest/halal living. Lots of doors of opportunities get slammed in their faces, yet they still take the halal route. Some came from selling drugs where the markup is very high compared to cost of product and they see the incense and oils business as a quick halal way to make good cash. A decent quality bundle of incense costs about .58 cents to make 100 sticks. If you are selling 100 sticks for $5 to $8.00, you could easily make $100 profit or more per day. Initially, some brothers situation is to sell only a few $5 dollar bundles in a day where they may not be making enough to keep the lights on. They have to take these steps to work their way up to becoming the one who has that “true blue” body oils business. The body oils business is a “turn key” business. That means that anyone can start this business with very little investment. This is also a personal business, meaning that you have to get to know the customers and they in return become repeat buyers. Too often I’ve seen oils/incense businesses who have firm roots in their store location and a bigger investor will open up shop right next to them only to go out of business in a couple months because they don’t have the personal relationships built with the customers like the brother who has been their a lot longer. I personally know a brother who started as the one selling the $5.00 bundles on the street and is now a multi-millionaire. Their are others who can’t find a “formal” job that will pay them $600-$1000 per day like the oils/incense business. Unfortunately, their are bigger distributors who don’t properly train or teach some of the struggling brothers the art of building their body oils/incense business. This is where I come in. I train and give out information on how to properly build a incense/body oils business from scratch and I aim to reach out to those struggling incense/oils sellers who are trying to build thriving businesses in our failing economy. If you perhaps know many of those brothers who are struggling to build their business, please refer them to my youtube channel for techniques and tricks of the trade:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_yZjXTZ9hw&index=18&list=UUKznm1WiJRHmLx5_o3m9cZg

    http://www.extravagantfragrances.com

    • Wa Alaikum Salaam and Eid Mubarak Brother Ismail,

      Thank you so much for putting this information out there, and may Allah reward you.

      I don’t want to demean brothers who are truly working hard and have intentions and plans to move up from the $5 bundles. My point was primarily for those who want to stay at that level and never go further.

      This was also a template for any brother who wants to stay at the basic hand-to-mouth survival level no matter what they’re selling. Doesn’t matter if it’s fruit, oils, newspapers, bean pies, whatever. These brothers should have a plan to go to next level and not be content with just barely making it.

      Once again, thank you for sharing your links and information.

      • But when did Allah or thereafter the people of knowledge make you responsible for all the other Muslims?

        You my brother came off like you believe your home to be the only one worthy of being classed as a Muslim home !! I’ve loved live and had marriages that lasted and didn’t

        I’ve been on welfare and worked as a lecturer at universities.

        I’ve cried and made my wife cry!

        Grow up akhi

        Out communities are afflicted with zina and many other ills of the societies of dar Ul Kufr

        You an others need to thank Allah u doin okay and pray that Allah doesn’t test your family!

        I know in all my time on this sunnah and in the world that no one has the answer to a happy home we can only try and follow the Sunnah

        Peace to brother Ismaeel who spoke the truth

        • Okay.

          This is just a blog and just an opinion. Take it or leave it.

          It’s not that serious.

  3. I get the theme. But some aspects are a bit harsh. Maybe selling incense sticks is all a man can do. And maybe the woman is satisfied with that. Atleast he does not beg or cheat. Rather he does what he can. For a woman who wants the Hereafter and not this world, this is the type of man she should prefer anyway

  4. And if you are a non-muslim run away from the guy who wants to make an appointment for you to meet his religious teacher or ustaz. He is more interested in the pahala or rewards he scores on your conversion.

    • Nope. You’re making stuff up. We don’t get anything for bringing someone into Islam. Maybe in the next life. But definitely not in this one.

  5. A bit naive nabster. Incence sticks wont pay the bills and you’d probably have to hold down two jobs and a family while he’s finding his true calling in life! Sorry but i think the responses can vary according to whether one is married, how long for and how the marriage fares.

    A very good tongue in cheek article. Totally agree though each individual/couple can work things out differently there are fundamentals like commitment, perseverance, integrity, honesty and trust that should not be compromised.

    • That’s absolutely a false Idea. My wife and I can both testify that I do in fact by Allahs will feed, cloth and provide for my family from selling incense and body oils. She does not work except taking care and teaching the children. She is the one with a college degree, not me. We live in a safe suburban community. I started this business in the beginning by going door to door, selling on the go out of my back pack. This work keeps me off of government aid/assistance Alhamdullilah. To those brothers who have a passion for incense and body oils, just know that the prophet Muhummad pbuh put his stamp of approval on it as well as Omar R.A.

      I know brothers who don’t have store fronts who are making $4000 – $5000 per month +

      1st It is empowering because you’re working for yourself instead of be subservient to the Kuffar. You don’t have to compromise by shaving your beard off or taking off your hijab and it provides jobs for other muslims. I have seen it with my own eyes. I know a sister who sells shea butter and soaps and her husband sells oils. They are now looking for a home to buy in full outright without the use of a Riba loan.

      I encourage all muslims to take on the entrepreneurial spirit and become independent with the help of Allah. I personally got into this business because so many jobs wanted me to compromise my dean.

      Muslims, become the upper hand and become stronger than the Kuffar even if it’s not in the incense and oils business. This is just one of many routes to take.

      I know other brothers who make enough money with this to make hajj + some.

      I know another brother in this industry who travels the world from Saudi to UK buying and selling his fragrances and is doing VERY well for himself and his family.

      Another example is some brothers who travel the south selling out of a trailer who one of them is making triple digits per year.

      It doesn’t make sense to go get a “formal” job if it’s not your passion only to fit into this traditional idea of what a “good job” constitutes. If your wife is patient enough to see you selling the $5 bundles in the beginning then alhamdullilah, Gratitude brings in more wealth from Allah. I say she is a grateful wife and she represents the wife that the prophet Ismail was ordered by his father Ibrahim to keep.

      On the flip side, I know educated engineers who cannot find work, educated teachers who have to get a second job to keep the lights on. I know of another engineer who left his engineering to be become a distributor in this industry.

      Provision is from Allah. Allah says he will test us with wealth and poverty. That doesn’t make a man with a high paying “traditional job” exempt from being tested with poverty.

  6. Also, i suppose you need to go into a marriage knowing the sacrifices youll have to make even if it means being the main breadwinner or always excusing failures in your spouse. It is 24/7 and therefore its needs to be grounded on reality like finances, who is going to help cook, clean, change nappies etc etc…